As a Spence student of 11 years, I would argue that the most intimate moments we experience behind the Red Doors don’t occur in classrooms, in shared grade spaces, or even in Math Lab. The core of our beings, the innermost levels of our soul, the nooks and crannies of our deep-seated emotions, they all reveal themselves in the bathrooms of the Spence School. There are a multitude of factors that compose an ideal school bathroom. I invite you all to join me in taking a deep dive into the lavatory options Spence offers, starting with the first three main building and townhouse floors.

Immediately after entering the Spence building, you’re greeted with a couple of options: the big lobby bathroom and the small lobby bathroom. Although I often use whichever one is unoccupied, I am predictably partial towards the larger one. Despite the door closing at the speed of a starfish, the roominess of this bathroom is valuable in comparison to the tiny, cramped nature of its next-door neighbor. Due to its central location and proximity to the gym, the large lobby bathroom is also an ideal spot for changing in and out of PE attire.

The bathroom in the townhouse lobby is a little too out in the open for my personal comfort. People are constantly waiting for the painfully slow elevator, which is in extremely close proximity, and have easy listening access to anything that takes place in that bathroom as a result of the thin door. The townhouse lobby bathroom simply cannot compare to the other bathrooms located on the first floor.

Moving to the second floor, the bathroom behind the dance studio is easy to forget, yet incredibly significant to the community as a whole. Because of its unusual location, you are almost always guaranteed complete privacy and a lack of disturbances. Additionally, this bathroom saves you from the burden of walking up to the 3rd floor or down to the first when you’re on the second floor and in need of relieving yourself.

I can confidently claim that the QSA on the third floor of the main building houses some of the most popular bathrooms in the entire school. Firstly, the QSA is a beloved space for socializing. The large, single-person bathroom located next to room 324 contains features that seem to attract an abundance of Spence students. During times when the QSA is densely populated, it seems as though it’s a common move to head to this bathroom with friends when your conversation is in need of a bit more privacy. This is when the bathroom’s roominess is a gift. On the other hand, when using this bathroom alone, the excess of space can be almost frightening. The distance from the toilet to the door creates the possibility for crisis if you’ve somehow forgotten to lock the door and someone unexpectedly barges in. Do you sprint from the toilet to hold the door closed? What if it’s too late? Do you stay put and come to terms with the humiliating situation at hand? These are the questions we must ask ourselves in order to make an informed decision when it comes to bathrooms at Spence.

In my opinion, the bathroom stalls in the QSA are an absolute last resort. I am not the biggest fan of stalled bathrooms, and this one in particular has an overall musty vibe. The metal doors are prison-like and detract from the homey, warm ambiance of the QSA just outside.

To close out this first chapter of Spence bathrooms, let’s discuss the 3rd floor townhouse bathroom. I find the townhouse’s third floor to be above the average level of loud and overwhelming, however I’m not completely against using its bathroom. Although it’s occupied approximately 95.43% of the time, the chances you get to use it will not result in unpleasant experiences. The bathroom is a good size and has both a full length mirror and a little stool in the corner to place your belongings upon. The paintings inside also provide a home-y atmosphere. To summarize: solid bathroom, no major complaints.

I hope you enjoyed this initial episode of reviewing Spence bathrooms, and stay tuned for a report on the building’s upper floors. To preview, we’ll be taking a look at the complexities of the 6th floor and even more townhouse controversies.

- Annika Melwani '25